FUNCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS
Ephesians 5:15-29
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her … 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church…
What basic attitude does God require of husbands?
What do you think God means by “love”? Why can “love” be difficult at times?
What can we learn from Christ’s love for the church?
1 Peter 3:7-9
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
What does Peter mean by the “weaker partner”?
Why must husbands remember this?
According to God’s word how are husbands to treat their wives?
John 13:13-17
(Jesus) 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
What attitude does Jesus demonstrate that is bound to help your marriage?
LOVE
In Jesus’ day the Greek speaking people had four different terms that they used for love. They are:
“STORGE” Family love, parents for children
“EROS” Self-fulfilling love. Sexual love. “I want your body.”
“FILEO” Friendship love. “I like you. I enjoy doing things with you.”
“AGAPE” Unselfish service. It is not the way I feel, but the manner in which I reach out to a fellow human being.
What type of love is needed in your marriage and why?
GOD’S STANDARD FOR LOVE
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
LOVE ANALYSIS
How does your love measure up to God’s standard?
For thought and discussion
- What common concept of “love” may be disastrous to marriage?
- When we weekly attend worship services, daily read God’s Word and frequently receive the Lord’s Supper, what effect will this regular hearing of God’s love have on a marriage relationship?
- How does pride hurt a marriage? How can you overcome pride?
WIFE’S FUNCTION
Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
1 Peter 3:1-6
1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
What is the key word which describes the function of a Christian wife?
Which of the terms below describes the Christian wife’s submission?
- helper
- inferior
- suppressed
- giving encouragement
- doormat
- putting him first
- supportive
- slave
- respect
- accepting his leadership
Acts 4:18-19
18 Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.
Is there ever a time when a Christian wife would not submit to her husband?
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
In what ways does this describe a truly submissive wife?
In what respect could she also be described as truly liberated?
For thought and discussion
- T/F God gives Christian wives the option of either obeying their husbands or not.
- T/F God says everybody will be happier if a Christian wife obeys her husband.
- T/F God says a Christian wife is to submit to her husband in order to exhibit the relationship of Jesus Christ and His Church.
- Should a wife’s goal be to live 100% for her husband?
- Does submission mean an end to freedom?
- Does submission make a woman a piece of property?
- Considering one’s more independent life-style before marriage, in what areas are there likely to be the most need for change… –for husband? –for wife? What are the most difficult areas to deal with?
- What causes a man to shirk or dodge his role as head of the family?
- What causes a wife to reject her God-given role to be a helper?