As you went through the trait inventory, perhaps you found areas where you or your partner need to change. Perhaps you have questions such as, “How do I effect change in my life?” “How do I help my partner deal with negative character traits?” “How do I deal with the things that need changing, but aren’t changed?” God willingly the following will help.
DEALING WITH THE CHARACTER IN ME
Psalm 139:14 I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 6:23a For the wages of sin is death…
- What important truth must you see about yourself?
- Can you think of some problems that can arise from pride?
Romans 6:23b …but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Ephesians 1:7 In him [Jesus] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins…
As we look at ourselves and see that we have things wrong with us, how does God comfort us and give us hope?
Luke 3:8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance… 11 John answered, “The man with two tunics [coats] should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.” 12 Tax collectors also came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?” 13 “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.
What does our loving and forgiving God want us to do in respect to negative character traits?
Psalm 107:17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
Consider the consequences of not changing negative character traits. Think about how it will affect your marriage and family life. Consider how it affects you and your relationship with people even now!
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Through faith in Jesus Christ, what are we enabled to do and to what extent?
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
John 16:23 [Jesus is speaking] I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. …17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Considering the above passages, what are some things that we can do to effect positive change in our lives?
DEALING WITH THE OTHER CHARACTER
Acts 10:15 “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”
Ask yourself whether the character trait you think you are so concerned about in your partner is really negative.
Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
Before helping others with their negative traits, what are some things that God asks us to do first?
Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
1 Corinthians 1:4 I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 3:1 Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
How will one wisely and lovingly deal with negative qualities evident in one’s partner?
T or F? Continual encouragement constitutes nagging.
THE NEED TO ACCOMMODATE
(Accommodate = adapt, put up with)
Romans 3:22…There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned…
Romans 7:19 [Paul speaking] For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 …it is sin living in me that does it.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
James 5:7 Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. 8… be patient and stand firm, … 9 Don’t grumble against each other…
Philippians 4:12 [The Apostle Paul speaking] I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, … 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Hebrews 3:13 Encourage one another daily…