Lesson 6 – Sex Is God’s Idea

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SEX IS GOD’S IDEA

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Sex is God’s idea.  It is not the product of some wicked, evil mind.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God created the helper for man as a sexual being to fit man’s body.

Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

“One flesh” is the sexual union.  The sexual union is God’s design for marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed [sexual intercourse] kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Sex within marriage is sacred and holy in the eyes of God.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;

A man needs to know how to take a wife.  Don’t marry just to have a bed partner.  Don’t look primarily for a bed partner, but for a life partner.  Take her in holiness and honor.  Don’t look at each other as sex objects.

1 Corinthians 7:2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

It is legitimate for husband and wife to expect children as a result of their sexual relationship, but it is not the only legitimate feature of the sexual relationship.  Sexual intercourse is also for the satisfaction of the sexual desires of both husband and wife.

 

THE PURPOSES OF THE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

  1. REPRODUCTION: God wants us to be fruitful and increase in number.
  2. PLEASURE: God intends the sexual relationship between a husband and wife to be pleasurable.  The sexual climax is one of the greatest physical pleasures in the world.
  3. UNITY: Nothing draws two people together and gives them a sense of uniqueness as does the relationship which is shared between the two of them in the sexual union.
  4. REAFFIRM OUR IDENTITY: Our maleness.  Our femaleness.

 

SOURCES OF PROBLEMS WITHIN THE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

  1. Ignorance
  2. Guilt
  3. Fear
  4. External Factors (long working hours, stress, lack of privacy)
  5. Personal Hostility (anger, bitterness, resentment)

 

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES

  1. Males have a greater interest in the “sex act” than the females. (usually)
  2. Males Accumulate seminal fluid—an internal stimulus in the male’s sexual interest.
  3. Pleasurable sexual interests extend through a greater part of the lives of both parties.
  4. There is a difference in the age that each reaches a “peak of frequency and physical response” (sexual peak).  Males, age 17.  Females, 28-35 yrs.
  5. The wife has a greater orgasm capacity than the husband.
  6. Husband aroused more readily by sexual touching.  Wife “takes longer” (needs a whole and complete relationship to be sexually stimulated).
  7. Male is visually stimulated.  Female is audibly stimulated.
  8. Menstruation is generally not pleasurable.   It is inconvenient and often painful for the woman.

Thank God for sex.  It is God’s good gift for life.  Sex and religion mix.  Sex is good.

Suggested Readings:    The Gift of Sex, Clifford and Joyce Penner

A Gift For All Ages-Family Handbook on Sexuality (ibid.)

The Act of Marriage, Tim & Beverly LaHaye

CHILDREN, A CHOICE BLESSING OF GOD

  1. Children were part of the Lord’s plan for the perfect happiness of his first creations.

Genesis 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.

Children were a part of God’s plan of perfect wisdom and love, and had there been no fall into sin, children would have brought perfect joy.  There would be no disobedience, no rebellious attitude, no ingratitude, no rejection, nothing but a perfect relationship between parents and children.

  1. Sin changed the picture and made children a mixed blessing.

Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.

The result of sin is that children now bring endless care, concern, heartaches and problems.  This is all greatly multiplied in the case of children who have not been made “new creatures” by the power of the Holy Spirit in baptism and through instruction in the Word of God.  Christian children often bring great joy to their parents, as they, “honor, serve and obey them and give them love and respect.”

  1. Thus the Bible speaks of the blessing of children:

Psalm 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.

Psalm 127:5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Psalm 128:3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. 5 May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, 6 and may you live to see your children’s children.

Proverbs 17:6 Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Psalm 113:9 He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.

(2 Kings 4:8-17 reflects what a precious treasure children are.)

  1. God may withhold the gift of children, but he still gives other blessings.

Isaiah 56:3 …And let not any eunuch [castrated man] complain, “I am only a dry tree.” 4 For this is what the LORD says:   “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant—5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off.

Luther:  Children are the most delightful pledge of a loving marriage.  They are the best wool on a sheep!

For thought and discussion

  1. How did God intend children to be a blessing to parents?
  2. How may the absence of children affect a home?
  3. When children come into the home, how may the husband/wife relationship be affected?
  4. What can parents do so that their children might be a joy to them rather than a constant source of care?
  5. Why can it be difficult to bring little children to church?
  6. How may children become a very obvious blessing to their parents when the parents become very old?
  7. Do you think that children are in every case a kind of “glue” that cements a marriage? If yes, how?  If not, why not?
  8. In the case of couples who have children, what are some of the challenges as they blend their families?

 

BIRTH CONTROL

Is birth control right or wrong?  Does God forbid birth control?

The love that is to fill and guide the entire marriage may at times not only permit, but also may require birth control.  For example, the emotional health of the mother; or the physical danger which having another child might present or regulation of a woman’s menstrual cycle.

If this choice is to be made, to forego having children, at least for the time being, it needs to be decided prayerfully and with full communication.  Let husband and wife be sure that the conscience of both is clear.

One important consideration is the reason.  Remember, the Lord looks at the heart.  Is it selfishness, worldliness, materialism?  Is it despising God’s gift of children?  Martin Luther once said, “Our women almost detest children; they do not want the burden of bearing and educating children; they only want children.”  If you decide to practice birth control, you need to consider carefully your reasons for doing so.

Another important consideration is the method.  In the fifth commandment, God forbids murder.  Recent information from the medical community verifies the fact that some of the birth control methods in use are abortifacient (they cause an abortion).  The new RU 486 pill causes abortion.  The IUD (intrauterine device) does not prevent conception (the union of the sperm and egg).  What it does do is cause the woman to abort the child that has been conceived.  The pill also may have the capacity to cause a conceived child to be aborted.  The pill may exert three influences in preventing pregnancy.

  1. It may prevent ovulation. (release of the ovum (egg) from the ovary).  This is called temporary sterilization.
  2. It may prevent the passage of sperm to the egg.  This is anti-fertilization.
  3. Some doctors feel that it may prevent implantation.  After the child has been conceived, the child is not able to implant on the walls of the uterus and grow.  In this case the pill would work as an abortifacient.

Couples need to talk to their physician to find out what kind of effects the pill has on a woman.  There are some other considerations when using the pill: the psychological side effects, the risk of cancer, causing hormonal imbalance.  These side effects should also be discussed with your doctor.  If couples opt to use birth control, there are other methods that they might consider using.  (i.e. Condoms, diaphragms, foams, etc.)

For more information, Christian Life Resources.

For thought and discussion

  1. What are possible good reasons for birth control?
  2. What might be proper methods of birth control?
  3. What do you consider the main reason why birth control is so widely practiced in our society?
  4. What would make birth control of any kind displeasing to the Lord?
  5. What might be the unhappy consequences of putting off a family until you seem better situated?
  6. What if you are not absolutely certain that you could support a family? What part will your faith have in finding the answer?
  7. What if your partner insists on a form of birth control which gives you a guilty conscience?
  8. What role will prayer have in all these areas?