Love Language

What is a love language?  Simply put, if you want to express love, what do you do?  If you want to feel loved, what do you hope happens to you?  Dr. Chapman developed the idea that there are essentially five Love Languages.  Which ones do you speak?  TAKE THE TEST!

  • Do you hope for flowers or candy from your spouse?  Do you like positive fact-oriented information?  Is it a crushing feeling to think that your birthday/anniversary/Christmas is ruined?  You would fall under Receiving Gifts.
  • Are little notes in your lunch or on your mirror meaningful?  Do compliments go a long way with you?  If someone insults you does it bother more than it maybe should?  You would be fluent in Words of Affirmation.
  • Are you a long walk on beach kind of person?  Does the thought of sitting in a movie theater with your spouse sound like fun?  Do you need to have face-to-face conversations?  Quality Time would be a big deal for you.
  • Is there anything better than a clean basket of laundry?  Yes!  That’s if someone else thought of doing it for you!  Or for that matter emptying the trash or dishwasher.  Is there anything WORSE than when you ask someone to help you and THEY DON’T!  You would be speaking Acts of Service.
  • Finally how important is a hug?  Do you hug everyone?  Do you crave the loving embrace from your spouse?  Physical abuse for you would be crushing.  That’s because Physical Touch is your language of choice.

There is much to say about all of these.  First and foremost, none of them is better or worse than another.  Some people might speak all of them.  Most people have at least a couple that are high on their list.  This is not scientific.  If you don’t seem to fit the mold, don’t panic.  This is rule of thumb stuff, but often very instructive.

As we walk down the path of marriage counseling or really any relationship these can be powerful because it can open your eye to how YOU operate.  AND it can unlock the key to how the people around you function too.  You can learn to speak other people’s languages.  I know that you don’t care about notes in your lunch box, but now that you understand it’s important to Bob, maybe you’ll shoot one his way instead of giving him a hug.  Betty feels overwhelmed alot, but if you tell her how important she is to the team, she might just run through a brick wall for you.

The most important example of love is the one that we talked about last week – God’s selfless love for us when he sent his Son to pay for our sins.  You can reflect that love into the lives of the people around you.  These five Love Languages might just help you do it.

Want to hear more?  Watch this week’s Bible study on Communication.

Please click HERE to see the Bible class slides.